December 2011
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when I finally have sex
some guy: now I know you're a virgin so you probably don't know much about -
me: no I read fanfiction I got this
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thismarks-theend:
futuresushi:
rydellk:
rydellk:
i accidentally printed my english paper onto iron-on paper so as to not waste money since iron-on paper is pretty expensive, i did the logical thing, and now i have a shirt with my opinion of julius caesar on it
true fashion
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breathofawhisper:
i drink in the night and swallow the stars. searing down my throat is an inky river of fireflies, and i can feel warmth spreading like flickering flames until my fingernails burn pink with light. i breathe in: the dust of dreams swirls around me and embroiders itself into my eyelashes, sweater, soul. “good night,” whispers the moon; “sleep tight,” wish the stars. and i,...
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Today at the movies
Me: Hi. I'd like two tickets to Sherlock Holmes: A Gay of Shadows?
Ticket Seller: Yeah su- Wait, what?
Me: Sherlock Homes: A Gay of Gay.
Ticket Seller: I don't-
Me: Sherlock Gay: A Gay of Gay Gay.
Ticket Seller: Sir I-
Me: Gay Gay: Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay.
Ticket Seller: That-
Me: Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.
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Set Fire to the Rain
theideathief:
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monsterhugs:
what if people in real life stopped in the middle of their sentences, said “READ MORE” and then started whispering under their breath